Stranger In a Strange Land
by MistressFrostIron
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Tony Stark is accidentally sent through a portal to Asgard, where he is confronted with the worst possible scenario: he gets trapped inside Loki's cell and is unable to get back to earth. Tony and Loki are forced to endure each others company until the Avengers come up with a solution to their problem.
1. When Things Go Wrong

This fic is based off of Lei-sam's comics, 'Stranger in a Strange Land.' The comics are absolutely amazing - so well drawn with such an original and attention grabbing story-line, and I am so honoured to be able to write a fic about it.  
As well as the plot, Lei-sam has helped with a bunch of parts in the story and the editing, so credit for this fic goes to her as well!

Her comics can be found on her tumblr, which is lei-sam dot tumblr dot com  
If you haven't seen them before, I highly recommend doing so! ^-^

* * *

Low below the golden and magnificent palaces and galleries of Asgard, lay the dark and dismal dungeons, old and forbidding like Asgard itself, leaving all of its inhabitants stuck in an endless gloomy mood.

Through the hallways of the rows of cells containing the prisoners, a group of guards made their hourly rounds, checking up on all of the prisoners. As one guard came across Loki's cell, he stopped to stare in at the disgraced prince of Asgard. He turned to another guard and grinned, "is it not enthusing? We are more suited for the throne of Asgard than the son of Odin, himself."

The other guard tore his attention from other prisoners to walk over and stand beside the amused guard, equally enjoying the view of Loki locked up in a cell. "For an insane criminal, he sure does do a good job boosting the self-confidence."  
A low growl escaped Loki's lips as he glared at the guards who dared to belittle him. He could feel his blood boiling in his veins as rage began furiously building up inside of him. He had been enduring endless taunting and insults from the guards since he had been tossed unceremoniously into his cell, and they certainly did not make that easy to do. He had finally had enough. "When I get out of here, you two pathetic beings will be the first I massacre on my relapse assassination spree." Loki laughed, "or maybe you're not even worth it. Look at you two. So worthless, that Asgard made you guards of all things. You'd have to be brain-dead to screw up a job like that."

The guards took a step back, fearing the blood-craved, insane look in Loki's eyes, and the merciless tone of his voice. Even from behind the barricaded window he was scary…it was just a window, after all. It wasn't _impossible_ to break out of. It was only very, very unlikely to get out and be alive, but Loki hadn't been in the cell for very long at all - he was still fresh with rage, violence and he craved destruction. The guards knew better than to test their luck with someone such as Loki. They retreated, continuing with their rounds.

Loki began pacing around his cell, wishing he had something to destroy. He felt _angry_. Worse than he had before - and not just because he was still wearing off the Tesseract and whatever Thanos managed to do to his mind, but because Thanos managed to control him in such a way that he had done. Loki had been used, controlled, abused and manipulated... On top of which, he had been sentenced to four thousand years of solitary confinement, and for what? A few pesky mortals falling to their deaths? It could hardly count as anything compared to all the lives Odin had taken in all of the wars he had partaken in.

Suddenly, something flew through the wall of Loki's cell, and hit the floor. Loki cocked his head to the side, curiously observing the body on his floor. When the body groaned and looked upwards, Loki recognized him to be one of those 'Avengers' from Thor's special team from Midgard. In other words: a threat - especially considering Loki was locked up and more at a disadvantage. Loki wasted no time to lunge towards the mortal, ready to kill him.

"No! No, no, no!" Tony yelled, immediately trying to avoid Loki; protecting his face with his arms as he crawled backwards into the corner. "_Fuck,_ Loki, wait! I come in peace; don't kill me - _wait!_"

Loki froze with his hands just mere centimeters away from the mortal's throat. Tony was obviously trying not to lose his cool, but was failing miserably. Loki would have questioned why he seemed so distressed, or why he was in his cell, of all the people and places, but no longer found it in himself to care. He finally had what he wanted. He could let out all of his frustrations while killing an enemy _and_ a friend of Thor's. There was nothing better he could have possibly asked for.

He again reached for Tony's throat, ready to pull his head off. Strangely, however, Loki seemed to be doing no harm. He couldn't even affect Tony's breathing. Loki stared at Tony, and punched him in the face. Tony's head whipped to the side with the force of Loki's punch, throwing him to the floor with the momentum. He put his hand on his face, expecting to have a dislocated jaw, but found that that he wasn't injured, nor had he felt any pain. With a surprised and confused expression, he looked up at Loki, "I... didn't feel that. That didn't hurt."

Loki stared at the mortal, bewildered. Loki was a _God_ - Tony was nothing but a mere _defenseless_ mortal who ought to be bleeding on the floor hanging on to his life by a thread, not sitting there completely unharmed. "Why?!" Loki growled, punching Tony again.

"Would you stop that?!" Tony argued, trying to fight the urge to engage in a fight with Loki now that he couldn't get hurt by him. "I'm not here to fight you!"

"_SHUT UP!_" Loki yelled, punching Tony again. After Loki had hit Tony countless times without doing any harm, he gave up and sat on the ground in front of Tony with a long sigh. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know, I... Something happened that shouldn't have."

"_What happened?!_ What were you doing before you came here?!"

"Well… we were fighting Doom," Tony began, only to be interrupted by the puzzled expression on Loki's face. "Dr. Victor Von Doom," Tony hurried to explain. "He's a crazy and evil dictator back on Earth; he favors the use of technology and magic. Anyways, after the whole New York incident, he became obsessed with you and your 'Godly' powers and magic . I started monitoring his every movement; he spent a good chunk of his time in Germany and, strangely, on my rooftop. I didn't know what his intentions were, I just assumed he had lost it, so I held my ground, waiting to see if he did anything more. Fury suspected that he was after the Tesseract or some of that alien tecnhology your arms left behind."

Loki huffed in annoyance, "technically, those were not my troops…"

"_Anyway_," Tony interrupted him "I think he was actually looking for something to do with you; with your energy, power, or magic…whatever that all is. It wasn't until he successfully stole all of Earth's power and caused the biggest blackout possible - and believe me, I'm pretty impressed that the guy managed to pull something like that off - that he caught anyone's attention. So the Avengers got together and sought him out. When we confronted him he said something about finding the "original source" and that he had managed to find a way to create a portal from Earth to that source…which means -"

"Me... he was referring to me and my magic," Loki growled in annoyance, finishing Tony's sentence. "But I do not understand. Why _me_?"

"Because you're a god. He said something about wanting to impress you enough that you'd consider him worthy of godly powers and grant it to him, keeping him as an ally. He can't go after Thor because, one: lightning is a little harder to track down, and two: Thor's a good guy, he wouldn't go grant some evil bastard godly powers."

"But how did _you_ get here?"

"That portal. Doom was still in the middle of turning it on when we came and interrupted him. Steve and I started a fight with Doom while Natasha, Clint and Bruce tried to turn off the portal. They finally got it, but as it was closing Doom tried to slip into it. Steve and I tried to stop him at the same time and, well... Steve managed to immobilize Doom, but Doom pushed him and he was about to fall into the portal himself. I saved him, but in turn, I fell in, instead."

"And you came to the origin of my powers... to me," Loki finished.

Tony nodded, "yeah, I believe I came to you because Doom used your magic to target his destination, your powers where like a beacon that guided me here."

Loki looked perplexedly at Tony.

"So, is Thor around anywhere? I can't undo what happened without him. Also, it was _really_ nice of him to miss that fight," Tony rolled his eyes. "He would've been really helpful. I'll need to build some sort of Earth-to-Asgard communicator... what kinda technology you guys got here?"

Loki growled at the mention of his brother's name, and squeezed his hands around Tony's throat again. "I cannot seem to harm your body, Stark, but mark my words; I can harm you in other ways."

"I-I'm sorry? Would you rather help?"

Loki frowned at Tony, slightly taken aback from Tony's offer. He seemed so... genuine; as though he wouldn't mind help from Loki. "No," he spoke, as if the answer were obvious.

"Great!" Tony got up from underneath Loki's grasp and jumped on the bed. Making himself comfortable, he leaned against the back wall with his hands behind his head and his ankles crossed. "So, how often does Thor visit you? Tell me he hasn't come by already today."

Loki gave Tony a look that Tony didn't quite understand. "I have not seen Thor since he brought me back here."

"What?" Tony asked, leaning forwards to sit upright."You're kidding, right?" Thor _never_ gave up on Loki... why wouldn't he visit him now?

Loki crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed with Tony's existence. "_GUARDS!_" he yelled as loud as he could, making sure he would be heard.

"What are you doing?! Shh!" Tony desperately pleaded. He didn't know how else to get Thor to come down if he never visited, but he was certain that the guards wouldn't take well to a human being stuck in a cell - he was positive that would count as breaking in.

It took the guards a few seconds, but they came running over to Loki's cell. Loki didn't need to say anything as the situation was perfectly clear, however the guards stood staring in at Tony, wondering what to do. They couldn't risk opening up the cell to get him out in case it was a trick of some kind, but if it wasn't, they couldn't just leave the human in there with Loki.

"Oh, go get Thor," Loki spat out. "Make yourself at least some degree of useful."

"We can't disturb Thor unless it is important."

"I'm important!" Tony protested, offended.

Loki walked over to Tony and leaned down in front of him, "play along or when you get out of here I will kill you in ways you do not know exist for it is so horrendous," Loki warned in a very low voice. He picked Tony up off the bed and stood in front of the window, again. "This is Thor's companion; his teammate from Midgard that he loves dearly and speaks about often. I suggest you summon Thor now or I will kill this mortal."

The guards exchanged another look, positive that Loki was playing a trick - he probably just wanted to escape so bad that he was using an illusion of something he thought the guards wouldn't question. He wouldn't or couldn't hurt the being; it wasn't real.

Loki took their hesitation to throw the mortal body into the window. Tony felt some sort of electric, magical feeling run all throughout his body. He could _feel_ it, yet it didn't hurt him. There was no damage to his body, either. Presuming that there should be, he acted severely hurt and didn't move a muscle.

The guards panicked. Someone _was_ in there with Loki, and he may or may not be alive. The guards both shoved each other and tripped over their feet in attempts to hurry and get Thor as soon as possible.

"How did you know I could withstand that?" Tony asked, sitting up when the guards had left.

"I didn't," Loki answered, leaning against a wall, awaiting Thor's arrival.

"You... You could have - "

"I do not care for you or your existence. I want you gone, mortal. I do not care how it happens, but it will."

Tony sat in an upright position with a sigh. Looking around, he realized that Loki had furniture... but none of the other cells in view seemed to have any. "Why doesn't anyone else have a bed?"

"That is of too much luxury."

Tony stared at Loki in disbelief, "so... they... what? They all sleep on the floor? Every night?"

"Yes."

"But... why do you have -?"

"Because my," Loki paused, contemplating on which word to use next. "My... mother, would not have me be without it."

"Who's your mother?"

Before Loki could answer - not that he was going to - Thor was seen approaching their cell.

"Brother," Thor greeted bitterly.

"Thor," Loki spat.

Unresolved brother drama...that was just what Tony needed. He wasn't sure if he should interfere with the reason they were having a reunion, or if he should awkwardly try to stay unseen so they could try to talk it out.

"What is it like?" Loki asked, "roaming around free while your brother rots in the dungeon? I'd quite like to experience that joy for myself."

Alright, talking - probably not so good. Tony didn't really need his new roommate or his only hope to be stuck in a bad mood. "Hey, Thor!" Tony tried to lighten the mood, jumping up to stand in front of the barricaded window. "Good to see 'ya, again!"

"Man of Iron, why are you here? How did you get in there? _What trickery is this_?"

"Is it not possible for this not to be 'trickery,' Thor?" Loki questioned. "I am not to blame for _everything_."

Thor turned to the guards and pointed at Tony, "how did this man get in there?"

The guards looked at each other, trying to come up with an answer. "I-I don't know," one spoke up. "Loki was alone five minutes ago."

"Did you not say that he had hit the barrier and fallen?"

The guards nodded.

"Trickery," Thor concluded, turning back to Loki.

"Thor, Loki didn't do this," Tony jumped in. "It was Doom. I was on Earth -"

"Long story short," Loki interrupted with thin patience, "he fell through a portal that has been locked upon my magic."

Thor stared at the pair for a minute, trying to decide whether or not the story was of truth. "Open the door," Thor finally commanded to the guards.

"But, Sir -"

"Now."

The guards nodded and stumbled to open the door for Thor.

"If you try to escape, I will kill you," Thor warned Loki as the doors opened.

Loki shook his head at Thor's ignorance, and headed for the back of the room as if to show that he had no intentions of escaping.

Thor walked in, and grabbed Tony's arm, pulling him out, "Man of Iron, whether or not this be a trick, I cannot risk you being here with Loki, nor can I risk you being among Asgard. My people will not take well to that. I do not know why you are here, but you must leave. I will open a portal from my world to yours with Mjolnir. I can return you home and we shall sort this nonsense out there. I also intend to bring this Doom back to Asgard with me to hold prisoner."

Before Tony could reply, Thor had created a portal with his hammer. Tony barely had time to even look through the portal at Earth before he was dragged inside. He went through the portal, but appeared back at Loki's side, causing Loki to stumble backwards with surprise. He tried to grab onto something to keep his balance, but ended up touching the barrier, burning his hand. He cursed, waving his hand around.

"_Stark, what the hellebróga?!_" Loki yelled.

Tony stared at Loki's red hand. The window was enough to badly injure Loki... why didn't it affect him at all? Tony quickly made a mental note to have some fun with how pain tolerant he had suddenly gotten.

Loki growled at Tony, causing Tony to retreat in fear - not fear of getting physically hurt, but of what else Loki might be capable of.

Suddenly, Thor appeared between the pair. He stared at Tony.

"I don't know," Tony answered Thor's unasked questioned.

Thor shook his head and disappeared again.

Tony and Loki exchanged a confused look, but split up, staying at opposite ends of the cell. Tony sat down on Loki's bed and got comfortable; leaning against the wall with his arms behind his head and ankles crossed again.

Loki glared at Tony with deep hatred, "get off my bed."

"I'd like to see you make me," Tony grinned, challenging the god that was now physically harmless to him.

Loki narrowed his eyes, "you would not -"

Before Loki could finish his sentence, Thor appeared outside of the cell again.

Tony immediately jumped up to his feet and ran over to the window, curious to know what happened. "What'd you do? Did you find anything out?"

"Yes, I saw the Avengers," Thor nodded, and shared the information he had retrieved:

"_But we have Tony," Clint argued, not believing or overly caring that there was another Tony out there. One was enough. He didn't want to risk anything to have two Tony's._

"_Not all of him," Natasha protested. "If there's a part of Tony that got separated from himself, no matter how small, we have to go save him. Tony isn't Tony without all of himself."_

"_No matter how much Tony we think we have, that small piece of Tony out there with Loki is still Tony," Bruce agreed. "Hell, we don't even know what Tony is really Tony; which one is the original."_

_Thor nodded, "Banner is right. I cannot allow Loki to have such a shadow forever, nor would my people take well to that. The Man of Iron would be stuck with Loki in a small cage for the rest of his life. I cannot put a friend through that - even if there is another one of him," Thor paused. "I fear that if Loki does not convince the Man of Iron into becoming allies, then Loki would use Man of Iron's life to escape... however, it seems the Man of Iron has gained a great resistance beyond that of a mere human; he withstands that which even those of Asgard cannot. Loki had tossed him into the barricade that keeps all prisoners in their cells, and no harm was done to him, but we do not yet know _how _invincible he is, or if he can be defeated at all. I do not wish to allow my brother to test that out with his limitlessness, merciless wrath like that."_

_The group exchanged a few looks regarding Tony's sudden invincibility, agreeing with Thor. If it was possible, Loki would surely find a way to kill Tony if he wanted to._

"_We need to get him out of there as soon as we can. He'd do the same for any of us," Steve agreed. After everyone exchanged a look, Steve added "I hope."_

"_How did this happen? How do we go fix it?" Thor asked. "Banner? Have you any ideas?"_

_Bruce clicked his pen as he leaned over the counter, staring at his papers on the counter. "Tony fell through while Doom's portal was closing, and it wasn't stable to begin with. As it was turning off, it was only half working, so, figuratively speaking, it tore Tony's soul in half, throwing him in some different state, or trapped in both dimensions."_

"_Simplify, son," Steve requested, trying to understand Tony's condition better._

"_When Tony fell through the portal, it worked and didn't work at the same time. Its job was to teleport whatever went through it to Asgard. It did that and didn't do it. We saw him come right out the other end as if it hadn't worked, but he also got sent to Asgard. The machine malfunctioned. He's still one person, but existing in two places at once."_

"_If he came from battle, why has he no armour?" Thor questioned._

"_I don't know. Tony _is_ Iron Man, but the suit isn't part of his soul, so, I guess it was left on Earth, unable to go through the portal. Look, I'm really not the right guy to be answering this stuff... all I know is that we have to get him put together."_

"_How do we do it?" Thor questioned._

"_I... I don't know. This is something I would need Tony for."_

"_We can't include him in this," Natasha forbade. "That's why Clint made sure he was busy in his workshop. You know what he's like. He'd try to spend time with his other self, and he'd end up being irresponsible and stupid." _

"_I know," Bruce confirmed, "that's why I'll need time. I'll need to talk to Doom and see if I can get anything out of him. Natasha, I'll need you to come with me. Thor, go back to Asgard and make sure they don't kill each other. Steve, Clint... look after our Tony."_

Tony sighed, trying to process everything. "So, I'm... existing... in two places, at the same time? And I don't even get to enjoy it?"

Thor nodded, "so it seems. Banner will get you back as soon as he is able. In the mean time... it looks like your solitary confinement is not so solitary anymore, Loki."

Loki and Tony both looked at each other. They were going to be stuck together. It could be days - weeks even - until Bruce could fix the mess. There was no way Tony and Loki could put up with each other for so long without killing one another.

* * *

' "_Stark, what the hellebróga?!_" Loki yelled. '  
Here, Loki uses the Old English language. 'Hellebróga' translates as 'terror of hell.'


	2. Tony's Culture Shock

Tony flopped himself down on the bed and sighed. Of all people to get stuck with, it had to be the bad guy who just so happened to be a god? Tony never really thought that the saying 'dreams come true' included nightmares... as logical as that sounded.  
"Get up," Loki growled.  
"Why?" Tony questioned.  
"That's my bed."  
"Not tonight."  
"Who's cell is this?" Loki growled.  
"Yours, and I'm your guest. It's basically an unspoken law that the guest gets the bed. Ergo, bed; mine."  
Loki shook his head, "get up."  
"Look, I need something to sleep on, too. We'll share it: I get it tonight, and you can have it tomorrow... you know, that kind of thing."  
"No," Loki denied simply.  
"Why not? That's fair."  
"No," he repeated.  
"I... Yes it is?"  
"Do not speak to me - do not speak at all."  
Tony rolled his eyes and sighed.  
"Do not even breathe."  
"Well, I'm sorry for being alive!"  
"You are not forgiven," Loki muttered.  
"Really?" Tony stood up, "how can you hate me _that_ much? What did I do to you besides -"  
"What did you do?" Loki interrupted, standing up from his chair as well, "_what did you do_? You have ruined my plans at -"  
"Don't give me that," Tony cut him off, "no, _no_. You tried to rule my entire planet. That's not -"  
"It was necessary! You humans need subjugation!"  
"You _obviously_ don't know _anything_ about humans."  
"I know enough to say that your world needs your 'heroes' because of -"  
"People like you?"  
"People like _yourselves_. You are destroying each other. You need to be ruled; to be taught and guided."  
"No, we'll fix everything. We have everything under control. We'll make it. You need to -"  
"What I need to do is -"  
"let me have the bed," Tony finished.  
"Make me," Loki childishly challenged, sincerely hoping for a bit of fun.  
Tony wasn't sure exactly what was going through his mind - maybe it was the power of knowing he couldn't get hurt, but he didn't know just how long he would be stuck with Loki, and he really didn't want to spend the entire time of the floor. He needed to prove to Loki that he wasn't someone who could be so easily walked all over and told what to do; Tony wasn't just another peasant - and besides, it seemed like fun, and after the day he had, he could use some fun. He defensively put his hands up, ready to fight, as he slowly circled Loki.  
Loki stepped forwards and grabbed Tony by the collar of the shirt and pulled him up off of his feet, then threw him across the room, causing him to slide into the barricaded wall.  
"Now that wasn't nice - especially since I'm your guest. How often do you even get guests? I can see why it's not often."  
Loki growled in response.  
Physical strength may not be Tony's strong point, but he felt so full of adrenalin. _No pain_. He jumped up to his feet and charged towards Loki, pinning him to the ground.  
Although he had a much, _much_ higher tolerance level for pain, Tony knew he probably couldn't hurt Loki since Loki was a God, but he went ahead and punched Loki anyways, taking advantage of the situation.  
Loki growled. Of course Tony didn't hurt him, but the fact that he had dared try to, infuriated him.  
The two of them rolled around the floor throwing punches at each other. Loki got a chance to let out his frustrations and anger while enjoying himself, and Tony got to have a _lot_ of fun. Nothing could boost his ego like going head-to-head with a God without getting hurt.  
Eventually, the pair grew tired and Tony wasn't having as much fun since he had gotten used to the excitement.  
"Just give me the bed tonight, you'll get it back tomorrow," Tony requested firmly.  
"I do not make deals with mortals."  
"I'm not exactly mortal if I exist in two worlds at the same time _and_ I'm invincible, hmm?"  
Loki huffed, but didn't say anything more. He got up off of the floor and sat back down on his chair, crossing his arms across his chest.  
Tony got up as well and sat on the bed, feeling satisfied that he had won over the bed. He laid down and got himself comfortable enough to sleep. He had no idea what time it was, but he didn't need a clock to know that he needed to rest. He had just gone through a very long day - he had woken up early to go to a meeting, he argued with Pepper, fought with Doom, had been in Asgard for a few hours, and had just fought with Loki, too. He felt exhausted. It didn't take him very long to fall asleep at all.

Sometime in the night, Tony woke up again for seemingly no reason. In the corner of the room Loki had fallen asleep in his chair, with his arms still crossed and his head bowed down. Tony stared at him. He looked so... peaceful, and harmless. How could someone who looked so innocent be filled with so much violence, rage and hatred?  
"Stop staring at me," Loki suddenly muttered.  
Tony immediately looked away, "how did you know I -?"  
"I felt your eyes on me."  
"Right... Whatever; sorry."  
Loki opened an eye to observe Tony. He was looking around, checking out the other prisoners. "Do not pay attention to them," Loki warned in nothing more than a murmur.  
Tony looked at Loki, who had closed his eyes again. "How do you know what I'm doing?"  
Loki didn't answer.  
Tony nodded, accepting that he wasn't going to get an answer to that. "Why not?" he asked, referencing the last thing Loki said.  
"They may be in another cell, but they can still torture you if you give them reason."  
"What reason could I give them from another cell? I mean, aside from being jealous of me?"  
"Attention," Loki muttered, ignoring Tony's cockiness.  
Tony nodded, not quite sure what they could do to him, or why attention was so bad... but he was in a different world where gods and magic existed. He wasn't exactly going to underestimate anything.  
"I'm going back to sleep, do not look at me - it is annoying."  
Tony pressed his lips together and nodded, closing his own eyes.

When Tony awoke sometime the next day, he noticed that Loki was still sitting in his chair, but he had a book.  
"What time is it?" Tony asked through a groggy voice.  
"... Sometime. Do you think that I would have anything to tell time with?"  
"I... I guess not. What about a bathroom?"  
Without looking up, Loki made a hand motion, and there was suddenly a toilet beside the bed.  
"You're kidding me, right?"  
Loki simply shook his head, turning the page of his book.  
"_THOR_!" Tony screamed desperately.  
Loki jumped, not expecting Tony to scream. "_What is wrong with you_?!" Loki screeched, slamming his book closed.  
In the distance, a large door opening and closing could be heard, followed by heavy footsteps.  
"Great. Wonderful. _Thank you_," Loki growled.  
Thor stepped up in front of the window of Tony and Loki's cell, looking somewhat displeased to be disturbed, from whatever it was he was doing.  
"_Please_," Tony stood up and stood in front of Thor through the barricade, "please, tell me I don't have to use _that_," he pointed to the toilet that Loki had conjured up.  
Thor looked uncomfortable. "Man of Iron, I apologize. It is difficult to treat you as a friend and guest of Asgard when you cannot leave Loki's side, and he cannot leave his cell."  
"So, I'm stuck with this?"  
"Loki has a hidden restroom... however I cannot access it for you; only Loki may open it."  
Tony sighed heavily. The chances of getting Loki to willingly allow him access to a private restroom were so slim, there was almost no point in asking him. "Can you at least get me some coffee?"  
"'Tis the least I can do," Thor nodded, "just this once."  
Tony nodded as Thor disappeared into a portal he created.  
With a heavy sigh, Tony sat down on the ground and waited for Thor to return. "Where'd you get a book, anyways?" he asked Loki.  
"My mother," Loki muttered, reading through his book again. "She brought you some, too."  
"Me?"  
Loki tilted his head towards the small pile of books against the back wall of the cell.  
"I don't... I don't really read."  
Thor suddenly appeared inside of the cell with a mug filled with coffee. He handed it down to Tony and told the guards to open the door so he could get back out. "Do not call upon me again, unless it is absolutely necessary. My priorities must lay with helping take care of Asgard. One day, under different circumstances, you may visit Asgard again and I will treat you as a proper guest." With that, Thor left.  
"Am I a prisoner?" Tony asked Loki. He sure felt like one.  
"Yes."  
"But I -"  
"You have come to Asgard, uninvited, and are stuck in my presence, in my cell, unable to get away. You are considered a prisoner. You are already lucky that Thor has gotten you out of your own sentence for breaking in."  
"What do you...?"  
"Odin would have wanted to make you an official prisoner, with your own sentence for breaking in, as opposed to merely being trapped with me."  
"How do you know -"  
"I just know." Loki spoke in a tone that had a lot of knowledge and hurt behind it, Tony didn't dare bother to argue or question further. Instead, he took a sip from his coffee. Much to his surprise, however, instead of tasting the hot coffee, he felt something tickle his lips. He looked at the contents of the mug and screamed as a little girl would, as he threw the mug towards the other side of the room.  
Loki innocently looked at Tony as though he were crazy.  
"_What was that for_?! Of all things, you chose _snakes_?!"  
"I have not done anything," Loki sounded completely innocent and believable, but he couldn't help a small smirk from appearing on his face.  
"You wasted an _entire_ cup of coffee! That was the only one I was going to get!"  
"Well, why don't you go cry onto your bed?! Your so-called 'coffee' is more than I will ever get from _him_ during my four thousand years here!" Loki spat.  
"Four... four _thousand_... **_years_**?!"  
Loki sharply nodded once.  
"How... old are you?"  
"One thousand, forty some odd years... I believe."  
"What's your life span?"  
"About five thousand years."  
"... So, you're going to die here?"  
"Yes, I believe that is Odin's plan."  
"And you'll be alone?"  
Loki nodded, turning his attention back down to his book.  
"That's _torture_! How is that legal? Do you not have laws here in Asgard?!"  
Loki looked up to observe the outraged mortal, "of course we have laws, why do you think I am in here?"  
"What kind of law is _that_? I mean, even with your life span one hundred years seems torturous - _especially_ in solitary confinement! Being alone in a cell for that long is..." he trailed off, not quite having a word to describe how terrible it was.  
"Why are you so angry?"  
"Because it's _wrong_!"  
"I destroyed your city and murdered your people, yet you wish for me to have a lesser sentence?"  
"I don't approve of what you did. I don't know what crazy ass things you were thinking, but I'm still not very gung-ho on the whole torture subject... no matter how much damage you did."  
"Why is that? I would think one such as you would not mind certain beings getting tortured."  
"How do you think I got this?" Tony tapped his arc-reactor. "I can tell you I didn't just decide to turn myself into a walking flashlight. I don't think anyone should have to go through anything like I did - not even the lightest parts of it."  
"What is that?"  
"Y'know, I don't trust you enough to tell you." There wasn't a doubt in Tony's mind that Loki would find a way to kill him using his arc-reactor. If there was a way he could be severely harmed or killed, the shrapnel would surely do it.  
With a swift movement of his hand, the toilet disappeared from beside the bed, and a door appeared at the back of the room.  
Curiously, Tony walked towards the door. In the small room, was the bathroom Tony needed. Sighing with relief, he kicked the door shut and did his business, then returned to the cell. Awaiting him on the coffee table, was Tony's cup, filled with coffee. "What's this?" Tony asked, slightly confused at Loki's sudden hospitality.  
"Tis but a peace offering."  
"Are you trying to get me to trust you? I know that you're considered to be the God of Mischief."  
"If you do not want it..." Loki muttered, reaching to grab the coffee for himself.  
"No!" Tony jumped forwards, grabbing the cup of coffee before Loki could. "I didn't say I didn't want it."  
Loki rolled his eyes, bringing his attention back to his book.  
"Did you poison it?" Tony questioned as he stared at the coffee.  
"No."  
"Then, seriously, what is with the hospitality?"  
"Is it not impossible to be anything less than angry and violent?" The truth? Loki was trying to gain the mortal's trust; he was curious about the thing in his chest, as well that Tony was the only person to think his punishment was unfair, without knowing the true reasoning behind Loki's attack on Midgard. He appreciated that.  
"It's just weird."  
"Perhaps then, I shall make note to threaten your life on an hourly basis if that would make you more comfortable..."  
"That's not what I meant. I don't mind it."  
"Then stop speaking of it."  
Tony set the coffee back down on the table, not quite sure whether or not to really trust Loki. He had just turned the drink into snakes, after all. "Why don't you ever let me talk?"  
"Your voice is painful to listen to."  
"What else is there to do?!" Tony groaned and flopped down backwards on the bed.  
"Read a book."  
Tony groaned again, throwing a pillow over his face, not responding.  
"Why are you not even giving them a chance?"  
"I already know I'm not going to like your Asgardian books. It's bad enough listening to you and Thor talk in these weird-ass accents with your weird-ass way of talking. Have you guys even heard of acronyms?"  
"She had asked Thor to bring a mix of some older and newer, well known Midgardian books, as well."  
Tony sat up, staring at Loki, "what books are those?"  
Loki looked at the cover of the book he was currently reading, "Shakespeare."  
"You're reading Shakespeare?"  
"Yes. It is... _it's_... interesting. Mother brought a lot more. They're over there, take a look," he tilted his head in the direction of the pile of books.  
Tony got off of the bed and wondered over to the pile of books, looking at what each one was. The Lord of the Rings, Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the Da Vinci Code, the first two books from the Harry Potter series, the four longer books from the Sherlock Holmes series, as well as the book Loki had: something Shakespeare had written. "Damn. She managed to find some of the most popular books."  
"Yes, that was her goal."  
"Can you put that down?!"  
Loki glanced up at Tony, not expecting the sudden outburst. "What?"  
"The book. Put it down. _I'm bored_."  
"Then _read_."  
"I've practically memorized every line in Lord of the Rings. Narnia is for kids. I've read the Da Vinci Code. Harry Potter? Been there, done that. I don't care for Sherlock or Shakespeare."  
"Tell me Stark, what is it that would please you?"  
"Do you think Thor would get me any kind of scrap metal, tools and wires so I can try to build something?"  
"Doubtful..."  
Tony sighed, sitting down on the chair. With nothing better to do, he stared at the ceiling.  
"What could my putting down my book possibly do to rid you of your boredom?"  
"I don't know, but at least you'd be as bored as me."  
"Art thou -"  
"I swear to God if you start talking like Shakespear I am going to slam your head against that wall until you forget how to talk," Tony muttered, not quite completely serious, as he pointed towards the barricaded wall that seemed to hurt Loki upon contact.  
Loki narrowed his eyes at the ignorant mortal as he closed the book, not catching on to Tony's half joking tone. "Do you really dare threaten me? I have warned you, Stark, I _will_ find your tolerance level and I _will_ destroy you. Or, perhaps you have already told me. If I wish to know about your chest, perhaps I should rip it out and examine it, myself."  
Tony stared at him, staying silent.  
"Ah? It seems that would be the way to go." Loki stood up, leaving his book sitting on the chair, and walked towards Tony.  
"Stay away from me," Tony warned as Loki leaned down on top of him. "I'm invincible."  
"How confident are you about that?" Loki questioned, ripping Tony's shirt off.  
"That doesn't matter, you're not touching me," Tony growled, turning them over so Tony was on top of Loki. Before Loki had a chance to block it, Tony swung his fist into Loki's face.  
Loki blinked, not expecting the sudden hit. He forcefully jumped forwards with enough force that he sent himself and Tony onto the floor, where he was back on top. "Do you not know your place? I am a _God_. You are in _my_ realm, in _my_ cell, and you are a mere _mortal_. You will _not_ attempt to harm me."  
"You're right," Tony agreed. "I shouldn't attempt to harm you. I'll make sure I _will_ harm you, next time. Until then, _get off of me_."  
Loki narrowed his eyes, staring at Tony for a few seconds before getting off of him, returning to his chair.  
"How often do you shower?" Tony asked, still on the floor. "You kind of stink."  
"I assume more often than you. Have you smelled yourself? It is horrendous."  
"Horr- what?! I showered yesterday morning."  
"You could have fooled me."  
Frowning, Tony pulled his shirt up to his nose and smelled his shirt, then raised his arm to smell his armpit. He didn't smell bad. His deodorant and cologne was still intact, giving him a nice scent. "I think you're crazy. More so than before. I smell _good_."  
"You are impossibly full of yourself," Loki rolled his eyes.  
"Or am I honest? I'm only stating a fact here; I smell good."  
"I beg to differ."  
"Then maybe you should smell yourself. Seriously, how often do you shower here?"  
Loki didn't answer.  
The silence brought a worry to Tony's mind. "Loki? You _do_ actually get to shower, right? I mean, four thousand years in solitary is one thing, but ridding you of showers? They wouldn't do that. Right?"  
"The other prisoners shower three times a week," Loki slowly stated. "I shower once per week."  
Tony stared at him in disbelief, "they get three, while you get one?"  
Loki nodded, "part of the 'solitary.'"  
"You get _one_ shower every _week_?"  
"Yes? Why do you seem to have a problem understanding all of this?"  
"Um, because that's not _normal_. That's not fair."  
"Yes, you have mentioned that."  
"Guards!" Tony suddenly yelled. When the guards came running over, Tony requested Thor's presence, stating that it was important. They nodded, and sought the Prince out.  
"What are you doing now?" Loki asked, highly annoyed that he summoned Thor again.  
"I'm going to make this fair."  
A few minutes later, Thor arrived. "What is it, Man of Iron?"  
"I feel dirty. I need to have a shower. Please, please tell me I can do that."  
"Loki has a shower scheduled for this..." he trailed off, realizing that he was going to sentence his friend to one shower per week.  
"Sometime next week?"  
Thor slowly nodded.  
"You're telling me that I get to shower once a week? Is this with everyone else, too?"  
Thor raised his head to nod, but never completed the action. "I suppose... under these  
circumstances... I could try to get you your own time."  
"Every other day?"  
"Every other day?" Thor repeated, questioningly.  
"Yes."  
Thor looked thoughtful for a moment before replying, "I will see what I can do." With that, he began walking away.  
"You are very needy," Loki stated.  
"Hey, if I get this, you get it, too. I'm doing _you_ a favour."  
"I do not need your favours."  
"I think you do."  
"I _know_ that I do not."  
"I hope you remember that when I smell good and you smell like a dirty prisoner."  
Loki glared at Tony, growling. "You are stuck with me, remember? So long as I stay here, you can't shower."  
Tony stared at the God. He knew there was no chance to get him to agree to do a selfless deed; it just wasn't in Loki's nature to be nice. However, it wasn't supposed to be selfless. Tony only called upon Thor so that Loki would have somewhat of an easier time, though Loki refused to accept any help. "Why are you being so stubborn? I'm only doing this so you're treated fairly, which you should already be. Do you _want_ to be stuck here under these circumstances?"  
Loki stared at Tony, saying nothing. Of course he didn't want to be stuck with the current circumstances, but he didn't exactly want to be helped out by a pesky, annoying mortal, either. He wasn't _that_ desperate or pathetic enough to accept a mortal's help.  
"Man of Iron, I come with news of glad," a joyous booming voice suddenly announced.  
Tony jumped, and quickly turned around to face Thor. "I can have a shower?"  
Thor nodded, "every other day, one hour before the guards leave duty for the night."  
"When does it start?"  
"Tonight," Thor grinned. He was pleased to be able to help Tony with at least something.  
"Great! Thank you, Thor!"  
"I am glad to be of help!"  
Tony nodded in response, and turned to face Loki. "Well?" he grinned, pleased with himself.  
"Well, _what_?"  
"I got you a shower! You're welcome!"  
"I do not need your 'help.' If I wanted one badly enough, I could have gotten one before you even arrived."  
"Is that so?"  
"Yes," Loki hissed, "it is."  
"Well, then I guess you just won't get one."  
"Nor will you, if I refuse to move."  
"Why do you have to make _everything_ so difficult?"  
"Why must you intervene with everything?"  
"Because," Tony began, not having a complete answer.  
"Because _what_? You cannot possibly tell me that you _care_," Loki spat. "What reason could you have for trying to help the very _God_ that threw you out of your own tower while attempting to rule your pathetic planet?"  
Tony frowned. When Loki put it that way, it didn't seem very logical. He destroyed the city, took lives, tried to take over the entire planet, he brought an army of aliens down from some wormhole - which Tony had almost died inside, - and he had brainwashed so many people, yet here Tony was, fighting for Loki to have just as fair treatment as all the other prisoners.  
Part of Tony began to think he was an idiot for trying to get some decent treatment for Loki. 'Fair' treatment. After what he had done, how could giving him more than he already had, be considered fair?  
No, it didn't matter what he did. No one deserved that kind of treatment. Just because Loki was acting that way, didn't mean that anyone else had to sink that low. Besides, the fairness Tony was fighting for was between prisoners. In regards to what Loki had done, that 'fairness' was being dealt with by him being in solitary confinement for four thousand years.  
"Because," Tony continued, "you should be punished for what you did, but not tortured. There _is_ a difference. What you're undergoing here, is insanely cruel."  
"That is -"  
"On Earth, no one is in solitary confinement for over twenty-three hours. More than that is _torturous_."  
"Well, we are not on Midgard, are we?" Loki growled.  
"No, we're not, but I'm going to get you decent treatment, anyways."  
"You really do not know your place, do you? You cannot come in here and change the rules, _especially_ from inside a cell."  
"There's something you need to know about me."  
Loki raised an eyebrow.  
"I'm Tony Stark."  
Loki rolled his eyes as he took in a deep breath, preparing for some self-centered speech.  
"I'm a consultant. I know how to talk. I can do anything. Getting you a shower every once in a while? That was a piece of cake. What else do you need?"  
"I do not need your pity favours, Stark. Do not even pretend that these are _favours_. You are doing this for yourself as you are stuck here. If you had come to visit here on your own circumstances, you would stand before my cell, _laughing_ and _enjoying_ my punishment, as all others have."  
"You aren't telling me that others have done that.." Tony asked in a whisper, knowing full well that, that was what Loki was saying.  
"Would you expect any less? Surely you must have done the same upon seeing one of your mortal enemies confined."  
"I've enjoyed a sight or two... but not enough to laugh or whatever people do here."  
"It seems to boost the ego," Loki muttered. "Everyone sees themselves as more fit for a King than the Prince, himself." Sure, he was referring to the more recent encounter he had with anyone, and that was the guards, but more than just them had said that. It was a popular statement among guests.  
"You get guests that only visit you to boost their -"  
"I do not get guests. I get mocked by passerby's of guests to others, and guards. To answer your question, no, Thor had not come to visit, yet. When you called him... that was the first time I had seen him since I got back here."  
"Only your mom visits you then?"  
There was a long pause before Loki answered, "yes."  
"There you go. You do get guests. You aren't as lonely as you think."  
"I am finished with this topic," Loki announced. He was angry that he had already reveled so much. He didn't even know why he did.  
He wasn't confiding in Tony. No, no, he didn't confide in _anyone_. Especially mortals. He wasn't looking for pity, either. Perhaps... he just wanted to complain a bit. It didn't seem like he could do that without endless questions or 'help' from Tony, though.  
"We were just getting started!"  
"Oh, shut up."  
"If -"  
"I will tear out your vocal chords."  
"You can't -"  
"I _can_. You will be unharmed, but mute. Ah, that sounds wonderful... do not tempt me," Loki smiled towards him.  
Tony rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the bed. With absolutely nothing else to do, he curled up underneath the blankets and took a nap.


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours after Tony had fallen asleep, he awoke from his nap, and Loki had a new book.  
He didn't bother asking how long he was out for, what Loki was reading now, or anything else that crossed his mind. Instead, he simply stretched and silently stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling.  
It seemed like hours were passing. Though, it could have been minutes. He couldn't tell. He had never been more bored in his life, and that kind of boredom gave a distortion to time.  
"Oh," Loki muttered, closing his book.  
Tony raised an eyebrow, observing him.  
Loki walked over to the front of the cell, where a table stood... A table that wasn't there before.  
"Where'd that come from?" Tony asked, sitting up.  
"Downstairs... Below here is a kitchen."  
"Food?!" Tony jumped out of the bed, and hurried towards the table, staving. "What is _that_?!"  
"Bildshnipe."  
"B... what? Yeah, I don't eat sniped bull."  
Loki frowned, "sniped bull?"  
"Whatever you said," Tony waved his hand dismissevely and returned to the bed.  
"You are not eating?"  
"Im not too interested in eating something that I've never heard of, from a planet I've never been to before now. I'll just wait until the magic table brings breakfast."  
"The 'magic table' only comes with dinner."  
"You're... you're not serious?!"  
"I do not quite think you understand how hated I am, here."  
"You're being starved?"  
"I am a God. I can withstand more than -"  
"That doesn't matter. You're being starved!"  
"... My mother brings me food, daily," Loki admitted.  
Tony sighed in relief, "okay. Good. So, what does she usually bring?"  
"Things you have more than likely never heard of, from a realm you have never been to before now."  
Tony chuckled lightly, "alright. What's that taste like?" he asked, nodding towards the whatever it was Loki called it.  
"I do not know any Midgardian terms to compare it to."  
"Right... D'ya get much else?"  
"Not often, no."  
"Then it's this or starve, huh?"  
"If you are able to starve to death."  
Tony sighed, "well, I don't plan on dying here." Getting up, he walked over to the small, cylinder-shaped table and grabbed the piece of bildshnipe. Without hesitating, he brought it up to his mouth and bit a piece off. "This is disgusting," Tony screeched, spitting it out onto the ground. "It's like... turkey, and ham and hamburger all in one, and," he paused, "I want more."  
Loki stared at him, confused as to how exactly Tony felt.  
Tony bit off another piece of the Asgardian food, and kept at it until it was gone. "That... was good. If this is the kinda food I gotta eat here, I've got no complaints."  
"You missed some," Loki muttered, pointing to the bits of food Tony had spit out from his first bite.  
"That... isn't gonna get cleaned up unless I do it, is it?"  
"No."  
"You have magic. You can just poof it away, can't you?"  
"I _can_, but I won't."  
"But -"  
"Don't move," a voice suddenly interrupted.  
Tony and Loki both turned to face the front of the cell, where five guards stood, opening the door.  
Two of the guards were the guards that mocked Loki on a daily basis. There was no way he could talk his way out of going. Tony was stuck with getting his way. "It appears to be time for your shower," Loki grumbled.  
"Oh? Finally!"  
As two of the guards carried a box into the cell, followed by two others, Loki glared at Tony, giving him a death look. The fifth guard remained outside of the cell, locking it to ensure Loki didn't escape.  
"What's with the look? You can still have one y'know. Just because you said otherwise doesn't mean it's written in stone."  
"I do not need your pity favours," Loki growled.  
"It's not pity. I'm -"  
"Are you that oblivious to your own actions? You show more and more compassion and an unnecessary amount of kindness as you find out more of the conditions of my sentence. I may not be as fortunate as your prisoners on Midgard to have such luxury," Loki viciously stepped forwards, trying to get to Tony, causing the four guards to rush over and hold onto him, keeping him in place, "but I am _not_ suffering, and I do _not_ need your _pity_."  
Tony backed up towards the wall, slightly afraid of Loki. Loki's tone alone was enough to make Tony forget about his seemingly invincibility.  
Once Loki stopped trying to get out of the guards grasp, two of the guards held onto Loki while the other two opened the box and quickly put chains around Loki's feet, wrists, and neck; just as they did when he arrived.  
Once Loki was confined, a guard put a simple pair of handcuffs around Tony's wrists, then the two of them were escorted out with a guard holding each of their arms.  
"Heh..." Tony grinned at Loki as they walked through the hallways, "looks like you don't get a say in whether you come or not, after all."  
Loki growled, "when we get back to the cell, I will murd-"  
"Hey," one of the guards interrupted, pulling on Loki's chains, causing him to stumble, "stop threatening the mortal, or we'll let him have his revenge."  
Loki glared at the guards, but remained silent.  
Tony's cuffs were removed and the pair were shoved into the showering room, and locked in, with nothing more but "we'll be back in forty minutes," from the guards.  
"Forty minutes? Damn, I'm only ever that long when I'm with a woman..."  
"I am quite glad not to be a woman," Loki stated, sitting down on the benches by the doors.  
Tony stared at him for a moment before laughing, "me too. I don't think you'd be very attractive."  
Loki fought back a smirk.  
"What exactly did they mean by they'll let me have revenge on you?"  
"Never you mind."  
"No, I want to know."  
"You can want all you like, I am not answering you. I suggest you use your time wisely; the guards are not known to keep their word."  
Deciding it would be wise to trust Loki rather than not, Tony grabbed the back of his shirt and slid it off his body, throwing it on the benches at the opposite side of the room as Loki. Cautiously, he turned around to face Loki. "Why are you staring at me?"  
"I am locked up here with nothing, for forty minutes. You are the only sort of amusement I've got. What else is supposed to occupy my attention?"  
"I don't know, stare at the ceiling, go to sleep, it's all I've had to do. Take a shower, for Christ's sake."  
Loki huffed, turning his attention away from the mortal.  
Hiding behind one of the walls in the center of the room, Tony removed the rest of his clothes and began his shower.  
He washed his hair and body in a matter of minutes.  
With no other way to pass the time, he washed himself again.  
And again.  
And again.  
Finally, he decided four times was more than enough. He awkwardly got his jeans back on, and swung his shirt across his shoulder, sitting on the benches.  
The second he sat down, Loki's eyes returned to him. Glaring. "Do you feel clean now, Stark?"  
Frowning, Tony slowly nodded.  
Loki made a "pfft" noise in response.  
Then, the two of them waited.  
Minutes later, the guards came in. Two took their spot on both sides of Loki, gripping his arms, two others cuffed Tony's wrists again, gripping his arms, leading them both out, with the last locking the door behind them.  
Once they were inside their cell, they were both uncuffed and left alone again.  
Tony sat himself down on the bed with a relaxing sigh, but was quickly lifted up in the air by Loki gripping his throat. "What _now_?!" Tony croaked out. "Is my breathing bothering you again?"  
"Your breathing _always_ bothers me, you nyten ferhþgeníðla," Loki growled. "But I do believe we came to an agreement that the bed is _mine_ tonight."  
"Right," Tony muffled out.  
Loki dropped Tony on the ground and took his place on his bed, sitting on it as though it were a throne.  
"What did you just call me?" Tony asked as he crawled up onto the chair.  
With his magic, Loki grabbed a new book to read, ignoring Tony.  
"Back to silence, huh?"  
No response.  
"You know, you're _really_ good at acting like people don't exist. Do you really hate people _that_ much, or is it just me?"  
"Shut up and go to sleep. I refuse to wake you come morning, and if you sleep through breakfast it is your own fault."  
Tony debated on wether or not to sleep yet. He didn't exactly have an alarm clock, or anything else to wake him up with. He'd awaken whenever his body felt rested... and he didn't really want to miss food.  
With a sigh, he got as comfortable as he could and closed his eyes, welcoming sleep.

"Did I miss it?!" was the first thing to be slurred out of Tony's mouth as he sat up, the moment he woke up.  
Loki gasped, startled. "Did you miss _what_?!"  
Tony rubbed his head as if to get rid of the head rush he gave himself, "breakfast. What else?"  
"Yes, you did."  
Tony groaned. He stood up and stepped forwards only to have his feet caught in something, causing him to fall.  
Loki glanced up from his book to watch as Tony wiggled his way out of the blanket.  
"What's this?" Tony asked, with a lost look on his face.  
"A blanket?"  
"Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious. Where'd it come from?"  
"My... mother. She thought you were cold."  
Tony smiled, "so I take it your mom isn't as evil as you?"  
"Oh, just leave," Loki muttered, pointing to the back of the room, where a door suddenly appeared.  
Tony stared at him, slightly surprised that he didn't have to ask. "Thank you," he spoke, before heading off to the bathroom.  
When he returned, there was another person in the cell. A woman... who was gorgeous, and blonde.  
"Hello," Tony greeted in a tone more seductive than he had intended.  
The blonde woman in the blue dress laughed, "you must be Tony Stark."  
He nodded, "and you are?"  
"I am Frigga," she smiled.  
"I am pleased to meet you, Miss. Frigga," Tony grinned, bowing down and kissing her hand.  
"Mother to Loki," she finished.  
Tony could feel his face turning red. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Loki shaking his head before it dropped into his hand.  
"I hope you found use of the blanket," she remarked, observing the blanket that was neatly folded on the chair. "You have very neat folding skills."  
"Yes, very much. Thank you. I - oh?" he glanced over at Loki, who must have folded it for him, "um, thanks."  
She nodded, "I came in to visit earlier this morning. Loki and I agreed it would be best to let you sleep."  
"Loki... agreed? What?"  
"Well," she shrugged, smiling, "when I say agree that it would be best..."  
"Ah," Tony nodded, understanding what she meant.  
"Since you did not get breakfast, I have come back with lunch," she gestured towards the table with a plate of food on it.  
"Oh? What's that?"  
"Unhatched bildshinpe."  
"Say again?"  
"Loki mentioned that you enjoyed last night's bildshnipe. Of course, that isn't a good morning food, so I spoke to Thor about what he ate while he was on Midgard with his woman. He said that unhatched animals were a very popular food for the morning, so... we have caught you some unhatched bildshnipe."  
"Unhatched animals... Do you mean eggs?"  
"Yes! That was the name."  
Tony laughed, "thank you, um," Tony frowned, struggling with what to call her, "Your Highness, err... Mrs. Loki's mother -"  
Tony was interrupted by loud laugh-like noise escaping Loki's mouth, which he quickly covered with a cough.  
"Please, dear, call me Frigga."  
Tony nodded, though he felt weird about addressing the _Queen of Asgard_ by her first name. "You didn't have to go through so much trouble. I mean, I appreciate it - but don't go stealing any babies on my behalf. I usually just grab a glass of scotch, anyways."  
"Don't be silly, you are a guest of Asgard, and you shall be treated as such... as best as I can provide under these circumstances."  
"I appreciate that. Thank you."  
"It is my pleasure," she smiled, before turning to talk to Loki.  
Tony stepped over to the table, and took a bite out of the bildshnipe eggs, finding that it was just as delicious as the bildshnipe. When he was done, he turned to thank Loki's mom, but she was gone. "Where'd she go?"  
"Mrs. Loki's mother?" Loki asked, obviously trying to hold in another laugh.  
"What else am I supposed to call her?!"  
"Perhaps Frigga?"  
"Isn't it like, some sort of crime to call a Queen by her first name?"  
"Not if she introduces herself by her first name. You are truly an idiot."  
"_Whatever_. Where'd she go?"  
"She had to leave. She seems to like you..."  
"Really?"  
"I cannot possibly see why."  
"Yeah? Thanks," Tony muttered, sitting back on the chair. He just spent the day the same as the previous; staring at the ceiling, occasionally complaining to Loki about how bored he was, and drifting off to sleep every now and then.

* * *

' "Your breathing always bothers me, you nyten ferhþgeníðla," Loki growled. '  
Old English, again. 'nyten ferhþgeníðla' translates as 'ignorant mortal enemy.'


End file.
